Viv in Shorts

Alright, you know how yesterday I was all "shorts are SO important! Go buy shorts and wear them right friggin now!" Shorts shorts shorts!" Well, here's the thing. I don't even like shorts. For me! I know, I am such a jerk, right?! Did you JUST get home from the mall with like 8 new pair? (I'm so proud.) Well, the problem is my thighs, you see. I choose to keep them in hiding and captivity in garments like dresses, skirts and pedal pushers- so I avoid shorts. Now you know the truth.

See me in (long) shorts here:

Hear me in (short) shorts here:

Viv: Oh look at you guys!
R Thigh: Geez Viv, did you think we left? We've been here all along under all the dresses.
L Thigh: Yeah, if you hate us, why don't you take us to the gym or something!
Viv: UMM! I do!! Like every day! Why don't YOU cooperate and stop looking like that!
R: Well, we all ARE 30 now, it takes more work, you know.
Viv: Well... that's true I guess. Dang it.
L: Yeah, and we all like to have wine! And extra sleep.
R: You know, we like skirts and dresses more than shorts anyway!
Viv: That IS true Lefty, we DO like dresses better.
L: Screw the shorts, Viv.
Viv: Yeah, screw the shorts. Let's get me some wine.

End of story.


  1. Viv, if I had your thighs I'd wear shorts everyday. You look fabulous.

  2. I can't believe I just read this... I can't believe you are complaining about YOUR thighs... unbelievable... you are insane... I think you are PERFECT

  3. LOVIN' your blog!!! Can't believe I just now found it! (finally started figuring out stuff on Facebook and saw the link).

    Anyhow, I agree w/ D on this- your thighs are TEENY!!! But I'm also with you about shorts in general... nothing above the knee on these legs!

    Luv ya, babe!

  4. Uhm I'm pretty sure you have NOTHING to worry about and that your legs look ridiculously long and amazing in shorts.

    If I can go in public with my cottage cheese and stretch marks and not evoke terror, fo dang sho you can!

  5. I just found you through Kendi's 30/30 links! I'm doing a version of the challenge, too. You can find me over at Looking forward to following your progress, and good luck! :)