I do not approve of holiday themed attire. UNLESS you are a very old grandma. I have to specify very old, because I know of some young, and super hip grandmas who should not wear holiday themed attire.
Let me repeat. I DO NOT APPROVE.
Today is July 4th. If you wish to be ...festive, please see the lists below before making your Independence Day style selection.
1. Stripes: any combo of white, navy, light blue, red, off white. (yellow as an alternate)
2. Stars and Dots: same as above
3. Shorts and capris: all colors are ok, but please don't offend people with the size and fit.
4. American flag pins. Small ones. I mean tiny! Please!
1. American flag print on a t-shirt or tank top.
2. American flag print on a short or capri. (if I see an American flag printed capri, I might actually stop and ask that person where the H#%* they bought such a devastating pant.)
3. American flag jewelry of any kind, other than pins.
4. Dressing as Ben Franklin, Abe Lincoln or Betsy Ross. (unless you are in a play that has a performance today, but seriously what is the chance of that.)
5. Clothing printed with animals celebrating July 4th is especially unacceptable. (For ex: Dogs eating hot dogs or apple pie. Cats wearing flag printed tees and watching fireworks. Dolphins jumping over waves whilst fireworks explode over the horizon.)
*As a general rule, wearing clothing printed with animals is pretty much horrible. You should know this.
- SO, if you are wearing any of the above, please change immediately. Its ok... there is still time in the day to look good- you can just tell all the people at your BBQ that you got potato salad on yourself or whatever. Mmkay?
Don't forget to come back tomorrow as I start my 30-for-30 challenge!!