Shorts Shorts Shorts

I design pants.

Pants and shorts. Pants shorts pants shorts pants shorts. All day long. In case you have not noticed pants have been trending -big time- this year, and now so are shorts. You may say, duh Viv. Its Summer, people always wear shorts in Summer. Well, obviously they wear shorts during the Summer, more than they do any other time of the year, Smart-ass. But shorts are more important than usual this year. They come in more lengths, they have different types of pockets and hems, and waistbands... people are buying and wearing lots and lots of shorts, and if you are not also doing this, you should be.

See these girls?

Please know this about wearing shorts this Summer:
1. If your shorts are squeezing any part of your body, which then creates 2 parts. Please do not wear these shorts.
2. If you are not able to sit, eat, walk or breathe in your shorts (denim specifically). Please do not wear these shorts.
3. Please do not wear shorts that are meant to be worn to the gym, anywhere other than to the gym.
4. Please do not wear shorts that belong to a man, unless you are a man.
5. Although I support wearing heels with shorts, please do not wear heels with either of the shorts mentioned in points 1 or 2.

Have fun wearing your shorts. Or not.


  1. Oh shorts.. I really wish I could wear them, but we have a love hate relationship - meaning I love them and they hate me.

    I love your rules, believe in your rules, but I cannot abide by them.. because if a pair of shorts are small enough in the waist, they are too small for the thunderthighs, and if they are large enough for my thighs, they don't stay up..
    So, because I'm against the sausage look, I don't wear shorts.

  2. LOVED your closing line....

    "Have fun wearing your shorts. Or not."


    I no longer wear shorts because I no longer tan. My legs look like two chaulk-white, hairy walking sticks. NOT attractive.

    Tee, hee.

  3. I love, love your rules!! The one I live by with all clothing is: If what you're wearing hurts you, odds are it's hurting someone else.

  4. I LOVE you guys!!
    Ron and Candace: I guarantee my leg- whiteness is blinding people around the Tri-state area. But, I am not that sorry about it.