Sunday

July 4th Styling: Please read


I do not approve of holiday themed attire. UNLESS you are a very old grandma. I have to specify very old, because I know of some young, and super hip grandmas who should not wear holiday themed attire.

Let me repeat. I DO NOT APPROVE.

Today is July 4th. If you wish to be ...festive, please see the lists below before making your Independence Day style selection.
Acceptable:
1. Stripes: any combo of white, navy, light blue, red, off white. (yellow as an alternate)
2. Stars and Dots: same as above
3. Shorts and capris: all colors are ok, but please don't offend people with the size and fit.
4. American flag pins. Small ones. I mean tiny! Please!

Unacceptable:
1. American flag print on a t-shirt or tank top.
2. American flag print on a short or capri. (if I see an American flag printed capri, I might actually stop and ask that person where the H#%* they bought such a devastating pant.)
3. American flag jewelry of any kind, other than pins.
4. Dressing as Ben Franklin, Abe Lincoln or Betsy Ross. (unless you are in a play that has a performance today, but seriously what is the chance of that.)
5. Clothing printed with animals celebrating July 4th is especially unacceptable. (For ex: Dogs eating hot dogs or apple pie. Cats wearing flag printed tees and watching fireworks. Dolphins jumping over waves whilst fireworks explode over the horizon.)
*As a general rule, wearing clothing printed with animals is pretty much horrible. You should know this.

- SO, if you are wearing any of the above, please change immediately. Its ok... there is still time in the day to look good- you can just tell all the people at your BBQ that you got potato salad on yourself or whatever. Mmkay?

Happy 4th!
Don't forget to come back tomorrow as I start my 30-for-30 challenge!!

4 comments:

  1. Oh this made me laugh and I totally agree. People just take it too far!

    Ramblings of a Small Town Girl

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hysterical, Viv!

    And because I live in Philly (home of Independence Hall) you cannot believe all the unacceptable I've seen today.

    It's like 4th of July sensory overload!!!

    Hope you're enjoying your day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. K, so as I read this I am wearing an Old Navy T-shirt w/ a flag on it. But don't worry I got it because it was cheap and I needed a comfy shirt that fit my pregnant belly while fishing next week. (one that could get ruined and I wouldn't care) So I will take it off before leaving the house:) Question: What about toddler attire?? Do the same rules apply?

    ReplyDelete
  4. B, I think you can put your lil babies in american flag stuff, but NO animals acting as though they are celebrating their independence.

    ReplyDelete