Tuesday

Not Stylish

I'll tell you what is NOT stylish or fashionable. A mosquito bite on your FACE. Do you want to know how many times this has happened to ME? Way too many. Why, my friends, when there are so many other body parts available for the little buzzing jerk to bite, does he always choose to attack my face? Why? WHY?!

Saturday morning, I woke up early, much too early to be awake on a Saturday. I went to the bathroom, and guess who followed me in there. No, not HH, he was fast asleep. A mosquito. Or maybe he was in there waiting for me all night. He knew I was coming. I saw him in the mirror as I was washing my hands and suddenly I was wide awake. There was absolutely NO way I was going back to bed now. You know why? Because as soon as I doze back into sleepy-land, I will hear the soft little sssszzzzzZZZZ in my ear, just AFTER the tiny beast has bitten me on the EYE. This is what always happens.

So what do I do? I wait. Perched and ready to attack, on top of the closed toilet seat. Eyes wide open staring into the bright lights of the bathroom. I'm staring at the walls and the ceiling and the floor and the mirror reflection, just waiting for him to make a move. 10 min, 20 min... nothing. Uhhh. Finally I give up and take a shower and get ready for the day. But I don't forget about him, I know he's in the apartment somewhere.

Saturday night, I think of him as I'm falling asleep. And what do I do? I friggin sleep with the sheet over my face, friends. Again I must do this on Sunday night. I know what will happen if I don't. This is what it has come to!!

Finally! Monday morning, again in the bathroom, I seem him. He tries to escape, but I am too fast and too excited and too angry at his relatives that invaded my apartment in the past- hovering over my pillow and having a bite of my cheek, my lip, my chin, my forehead- for their midnight snack! What is it with you!? There are perfectly delicious arms and legs here for you. Sometimes I even leave them exposed as bate, to try and save my face! What the hell, Mosquito!? I smash him against the tile. I am so happy, I want to wake HH up and tell him about my victory! But we both know it will be short-lived...

As I'm typing this I've just noticed another one buzzing by. I might scream.

If the next outfit picture that I post, mysteriously has the head cropped off... you'll know why.

1 comment:

  1. VivViv, you are the best.
    xo,
    Your friend, VandaBiggs.

    ReplyDelete