I was crossing Park Ave, on my way to work the other day. It was the first REALLY cold day so far this winter, so everyone was super bundled up. Before I had even a moment to grab my phone from my bag, I spotted a woman... wearing this!
No, it was not a robber. No it was not an 8 year old boy. It was a woman. A GROWN WOMAN... How could I tell, you ask? Well her blonde curls were flowing from beneath the robber mask, and I could see skinny little legs with hose and HEELS beneath her full length khaki wool coat. Can you imagine this yet?
Well, it gets better... or worse, I mean...?
The robber mask was not black, like the one shown here.
It was bright blue.
With red trim around the eye holes, and mouth hole.
Yes, I tell you. Like Spider Man. Or... Woman...
This lady is walking her khaki-coat-wearing-self, in her pumps and hose to some desk job in Midtown ... where she will enter her office building, only to promptly discard of her Spiderman mask, along with her khaki coat, just in time to hurry to the elevator with some of her coworkers. Doesn't she ever wonder if any of them see her wearing it on the street? Does her face ever get so warm and comfy on her way to work that she forgets to take Spidey off in time ... ?!!
What. The. Hell.