Holiday

Christmas is over. The only good part of that statement is that we no longer have to witness people wearing Holiday themed sweaters and earrings and socks and headbands and other ridiculous attire. Why do you do this to yourselves? Why do you do this to your children? Why do you decorate yourself like a friggin Christmas tree, with tinsel and bobbles and plastic candy canes dangling from your body... Do you want us to also put gifts under your dress as well? Maybe a star or an angel on top of your head? That would be really pretty. Sheesh.

How about, wear normal clothes. Please.

Acceptable Holiday Attire. by Vivianne H. Park

Sequins

Lace

Sweaters: wrap, cardigans, toggle front, bead embellished

Red and white stripes (age 10 and under ONLY)

Fur (faux is acceptable- and please do not throw paint)

Red, Black, Charcoal, Jewel tones, Winter white

Unacceptable Holiday Attire:

Reindeer horns (unless you are yard art)

Holiday jewelry (especially those that flash or repeatedly play Deck The Halls)

Elf suits (unless you are paid to wear one)

Sweaters or sweatshirts with the following scenes:

-wolves in snow, wearing Santa hats.

-Santa in his sleigh soaring through the starry sky, shouting "Ho Ho Ho"

-Family of cats gathered around the table, enjoying a Christmas turkey dinner. That is disgusting, don't you think?

-Santa's ass, squeezing into a fireplace, with presents and soot scattered all about someone's living room.

Please note.

Thanks, and Happy Holidays.