Spider Woman

I was crossing Park Ave, on my way to work the other day. It was the first REALLY cold day so far this winter, so everyone was super bundled up. Before I had even a moment to grab my phone from my bag, I spotted a woman... wearing this!

No, it was not a robber. No it was not an 8 year old boy. It was a woman. A GROWN WOMAN... How could I tell, you ask? Well her blonde curls were flowing from beneath the robber mask, and I could see skinny little legs with hose and HEELS beneath her full length khaki wool coat. Can you imagine this yet?

Well, it gets better... or worse, I mean...?

The robber mask was not black, like the one shown here.

It was bright blue.

With red trim around the eye holes, and mouth hole.

Yes, I tell you. Like Spider Man. Or... Woman...

This lady is walking her khaki-coat-wearing-self, in her pumps and hose to some desk job in Midtown ... where she will enter her office building, only to promptly discard of her Spiderman mask, along with her khaki coat, just in time to hurry to the elevator with some of her coworkers. Doesn't she ever wonder if any of them see her wearing it on the street? Does her face ever get so warm and comfy on her way to work that she forgets to take Spidey off in time ... ?!!

What. The. Hell.

Hats I pretty much hate

Fall is gone. Winter has arrived. Soon I will say a temporary farewell to my toes, fingers and the tips of my ears, as I do every winter.

I don't want to lose my ears permanently, I really like wearing earrings, oh yes, and hearing is also important... so I need a hat. One that is actually warm, so I've been doing some research and some shopping. So far I have only come up with styles that I know I DON'T want.

Please note: If you are the proud owner of any of my "don't want" styles, please do not be offended. These are only my personal choices, and since they are on my "don't want" list, that really means there are more of them available for you!

1.Brooklyn Backofthehead

I hate this hat more than any other hat. They always look like they're about to fall off, I can't imagine how this hat can be warm, or why everyone (guys and girls) think its so attractive when its dangling off the back of their heads!?? I named this style after Brooklyn, I'm convinced that everyone living in Brooklyn has one of these. If you live in Brooklyn, and you DON'T have one, I will be thrilled.

2. Chenille Bucket

There are 2 problems with this style:

Chenille and Bucket.

3. Bobble Top

Finally one that I kind of like! I think the "bobble top" style is cute. Its casual, youthful, fun and definitely warm, especially with the flaps that cover the ears! I think the patterned styles are nice, but I would steer clear of anything with words. Too busy.

4. What the hell is on your head

I know you may like them, especially the beret with the "floral arrangement" on the side, but seriously. Can you imagine what it looks like from the front? I mean, the beret is already lopsided, then you pile on a huge yarn garden and you'll barely be able to hold your head up! Please, just don't...

5. Russian Hottie

These are cute, and your head (ears, neck, forehead, hair, face...etc) will definitely be very warm...its like summer in there! You will also not be able to hear a thing. All winter long.

So, it looks like my search continues... Ah well, there are plenty of cold days left in the year - and LOTS more shopping to do!

Any suggestions for me? Please send!

Requirements: black, (duh), non-ugly (duh), and warm. Thanks!