DIY: Help me! Tell me what you think!

So, everyone is wearing shorts- especially denim, especially cut-offs. Right? I don't want to be left out of this trend! Even though denim cut-offs don't really blend into my all-black- primarily-Club Monaco-wardrobe-of-dresses-and-skirts... Do you think I can make them work? I want to look sophisticated and not Spring Break 2003. Help me.

(I was totally DIY at 7am this morning... Don't worry 30 for 30 re-mixers, I am not adding these to my 30 items... I'll save them for later. And also, don't worry church, I am not wearing this today.)

What do you think?

Oh also, here is a mini tour of one corner of our apartment.

Tell me what you think of my new shorts please.

I would turn around and ask you to tell me if my butt looks big in them, but I'm not totally crazy. Only like 50- 60%.

Almost!! 30-for-30

Well, it looks like my 30-for-30 will be starting one day late. Today I went to the beach, so I changed from my pajamas into my swim suit, now back to pajamas. Am I going to post a pic of myself in my pajamas? No. (even though they are black, and pretty much look like the rest of my wardrobe, I am not going to do this.) I could get dressed and take a pic, but I am too exhausted from the extreme heat (it is close to 200 degrees in NYC today) to do anything other than sit on the couch and type.

Also, due to the extreme heat, I think it wise for me to swap out one of my selected cardigans for a second pair of shorts. I found these shorts (below) in the bottom of my drawer yesterday, and wore them to church. I know I said I hated shorts but these are long enough that a.) I won't feel inappropriate at work. Yes, I know how lucky I am, I can wear shorts to work! and b.) They hide most of my thighs, so I don't have to be nauseated at myself all day. and c.) they are lightweight and perfect for 200 degree heat. Therefore they are acceptable and will be included into the remix. I don't know why I thought I needed 2 cardigans anyway.

I think I'll even start with these tomorrow. Good idea? Yes.

July 4th Styling: Please read

I do not approve of holiday themed attire. UNLESS you are a very old grandma. I have to specify very old, because I know of some young, and super hip grandmas who should not wear holiday themed attire.

Let me repeat. I DO NOT APPROVE.

Today is July 4th. If you wish to be ...festive, please see the lists below before making your Independence Day style selection.

Acceptable:

1. Stripes: any combo of white, navy, light blue, red, off white. (yellow as an alternate)

2. Stars and Dots: same as above

3. Shorts and capris: all colors are ok, but please don't offend people with the size and fit.

4. American flag pins. Small ones. I mean tiny! Please!

Unacceptable:

1. American flag print on a t-shirt or tank top.

2. American flag print on a short or capri. (if I see an American flag printed capri, I might actually stop and ask that person where the H#%* they bought such a devastating pant.)

3. American flag jewelry of any kind, other than pins.

4. Dressing as Ben Franklin, Abe Lincoln or Betsy Ross. (unless you are in a play that has a performance today, but seriously what is the chance of that.)

5. Clothing printed with animals celebrating July 4th is especially unacceptable. (For ex: Dogs eating hot dogs or apple pie. Cats wearing flag printed tees and watching fireworks. Dolphins jumping over waves whilst fireworks explode over the horizon.)

*As a general rule, wearing clothing printed with animals is pretty much horrible. You should know this.

- SO, if you are wearing any of the above, please change immediately. Its ok... there is still time in the day to look good- you can just tell all the people at your BBQ that you got potato salad on yourself or whatever. Mmkay?

Happy 4th!

Don't forget to come back tomorrow as I start my 30-for-30 challenge!!

Viv in Shorts

Alright, you know how yesterday I was all "shorts are SO important! Go buy shorts and wear them right friggin now!" Shorts shorts shorts!" Well, here's the thing. I don't even like shorts. For me! I know, I am such a jerk, right?! Did you JUST get home from the mall with like 8 new pair? (I'm so proud.) Well, the problem is my thighs, you see. I choose to keep them in hiding and captivity in garments like dresses, skirts and pedal pushers- so I avoid shorts. Now you know the truth.

See me in (long) shorts here:

Hear me in (short) shorts here:

Viv: Oh look at you guys!

R Thigh: Geez Viv, did you think we left? We've been here all along under all the dresses.

L Thigh: Yeah, if you hate us, why don't you take us to the gym or something!

Viv: UMM! I do!! Like every day! Why don't YOU cooperate and stop looking like that!

R: Well, we all ARE 30 now, it takes more work, you know.

Viv: Well... that's true I guess. Dang it.

L: Yeah, and we all like to have wine! And extra sleep.

R: You know, we like skirts and dresses more than shorts anyway!

Viv: That IS true Lefty, we DO like dresses better.

L: Screw the shorts, Viv.

Viv: Yeah, screw the shorts. Let's get me some wine.

End of story.